It was very sad and disappointing to see the dilapidated state of my great uncle Mark Regan's gravestone in situ at Burslem Cemetery. During research on Ancestry.com, I discovered that Mark, on my father's line, from Stanfields, had fallen during the Second World War (1942) aged just thirty. On one visit to the cemetery, I could not find the memorial even though I knew its approximate location. This was because the lettering on the stone had become so faded and indecipherable.

As a result, in April this year (2022), I contacted the CWGC (Commonwealth War Graves Commission) to request the stone be upgraded for a man who had suffered greatly. To my delight Julie Somany from the CWGC quickly responded and said: 

"Our Regional Manager thanks you for getting in touch, and has now advised me that a new, replacement headstone has been ordered for your great uncle, Gunner Mark Regan. He anticipates it will be manufactured at our headstone production unit in France, shipped to the UK and scheduled for installation on the grave within 6-9 months."

In November of 2022, true to her word, the new gravestone for Mark was installed at Burslem Cemetery.  

Mark Regan's gravestone before and after (Kevin Raftery).

This set me pondering about philanthropy/altruism and what the altruistic concept denotes. 

Put simply: 

'Altruism is when we act to promote someone else's welfare, even at a risk or cost to ourselves.'

Therefore, had I engaged with altruism by initiating the stone replacement for my long-lost ancestor, but then again, there had not been any real risk or cost to myself except for writing an email and photographing the offending stone had there?

When next visiting the cemetery to view the new gravestone, I did so on a poor day weather wise; the cemetery terrain was drenched and muddy.  Inspecting the brand-new stone with a pride of what had been accomplished (sometimes we have to give ourselves a pat on the back – especially if no one else is prepared to do it for us), I then trudged around the graveyard to check other military gravestones of young soldiers who had perished appallingly and violently during both world wars. I located three such stones where the lettering was obscure/were in poor condition.

Consequently, the gravestone details of the three fallen soldiers were forwarded to the CWGC in the hope that these stones would also be cleaned or replaced.  

On exiting Burslem Cemetery, I realised my feet were wet and cold and it would take me an hour to get home.

Had I now fully engaged with altruism? After all, I had not only attempted to get the worn gravestones replaced for soldiers I did not know; there had now been a cost to me personally.